The Wedding Vows

By 4:05 PM , , , ,

It's no secret that deciding whether or not to write personal wedding vows often tops the list of a brides (and grooms) planning nightmares. In fact many brides state that, second only to picking a dress, the decision about whether to recite traditional vows or write their own is one of the most difficult wedding decisions they face. Of course there are the traditional couples who say “I do,” those hopeless romantics who share handwritten vows, then there are the 'reciters' as I like to call them who recite lines from their favorite song or poem, and, finally, those who do some hybrid of the two. This being said, initially, Josh and I were hopelessly deadlocked on what to do when it came to our own wedding vows. Josh, on one hand, did not want to even consider the idea of writing our own vows, while I, the hopeless romantic who has watched "The Notebook" one too many times, thought writing our own vows sounded picture perfect.

Rounding out Josh's list of concerns was what we would actually say in the event we went the personal route. He was deathly afraid any attempt he made at writing personal vows would turn into a big cheesy mess that would leave our guests rolling their eyes or shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Perhaps even worse, however, was my own hidden almost-paralyzing fear that I simply would blank at the alter, much too overwhelmed with emotion to get any words out. After all, crafting the words you are going to share with your future husband/wife is a pretty big deal, but there’s something even more terrifying about sharing them in front of all your family and friends when you are already experiencing a set of emotions that you have never experienced before.

Naturally, we did what any indecisive couple would do: we did both. Sort of.

While Josh and I did opt to alter the traditional vows prior to the ceremony to be words that had the most meaning to us as a couple, we ultimately decided to do so together as a couple basing them off the traditional vows, and repeated these sacred promises after the minister before we were pronounced husband and wife.

When we considered what our ceremony actually was about – our love and our future together – along with all the fears we had about condensing our entire relationship into a few simple sentences, getting choked up as we struggled to remember our lines, and, possibly even boring our guests, relying on handwritten individual vows fell by the wayside. This turned out to be a very good thing as my nerves/emotions were beyond anything I would have ever imagined (turns out I would never have remembered hand written vows as, due to my nerves, I could hardly even remember our wedding dance we had practiced so very many times).

Weigh-In: Did you and your husband recite traditional vows or did you write your own, and why did you make the choice you made? If you went the personal route, what did you say and how did you find your inspiration? Help out all our lovely brides-to-be out and comment below.

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  1. The best I ever heard were friends of mine that sang their vows to each other. Of course, they were both great singers. That would not have worked for me and my bride.

  2. How sweet! However I do not think people would have had that reaction if my groom and I would have done that wants to hear either of us sing I can guarantee you! :)