Love Languages & Keeping Your Love Tank Full

By 12:11 PM ,

I am a big fan of the power of love languages. If you are not familiar with the love languages Gary Chapman developed I encourage you to check them out. The basic point is that there are five different kinds of love languages: gifts, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, and acts of service. 

Everyone needs to feel loved. However, we all experience love in different ways. You might feel loved when your husband makes you a nice dinner, however, while I might like it if my husband made me a nice dinner I would feel more loved if my husband were to give me a back massage. Although we all have some aspect of each love language there are certain love languages that are stronger for each of us. My top three love languages are below: 


The best advice I could give anyone who is beginning a marriage is to always strive to keep your spouse's love tank full. This was one of the pieces of advice we got in premarital counseling that really stuck with us and has made a huge difference in our marriage.

You should think of your husband's love tank very similarly to that of a gasoline tank. You want his tank to be always stay as full as possible. As long as your spouse's love tank is full they will never feel tempted to cheat or go search out love because they will be getting everything they need at home. 

Now here's the key... by telling your husband over and over you love him and showing him so by keeping the house clean because those are the two acts of love that mean the most to you does not necessary mean you are keeping your husband's love tank full. You must show him love in his love languages and not your own. So, in the previous example, if his love languages are not words of affirmation and acts of service, although he might appreciate you telling him that you love him and keeping the house clean, it is not actually feeling his need for love. 

I really encourage you to take the love language test with your spouse tonight and share the results with each other (it's available for free on Gary Chapman's website).  You might be surprised by the results and I can promise you if you apply these love languages to the love tank concept in your marriage you will never have to fear about your partner leaving you or not being happy. 

If you are interested in reading any of Gary Chapman's book I would highly recommend them! You can get them for cheap off on Ebay.

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12 comments

  1. I was just talking with a friend about this the other day. I forgot I was going to look this up. Thanks for the reminder :)

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  2. Hi,
    Great post. We are very familiar with Gary Chapman and the 5 love languages, as we teach marriage classes at our church, and that was
    an excellent piece of advice that your premarital counselor gave you.
    Great that you have passed it on............
    blessings, Nellie

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  3. I have never heard of this book before, but I am intrigued to know more. I will be writing a blog post about it today. Feel free to stop by and check it out!

    Shannon @ <a href="http://www.mamamusing.ca>Mamamusing - www.mamamusing.ca</a>

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    1. Can't wait to read your post and see what you think! :)

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  4. Thanks for sharing your post with me! I just think Love Languages are so important, and I can't believe it took Andrew and me so long to figure out that we should take the quiz!

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    1. My pleasure! I agree...so important and so simple once you know them!

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  5. What great advice. I truly believe the best gift we can give our children is a healthy marriage and make for a great home environment. Thanks for this reminder! get ordained online

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